Final Pictures of Dozsar

Dozsar enjoyed his final meal at home with the family

Rawhide chews were always a favorite

Peanut Butter made them even better

Getting ready to pounce on the rawhide.  He had a hard time bending down to reach it.

A little love shared between best friends

Dozsar liked for me to hold the rawhide so he could chew it.

Our last selfie...

Trying to stay comfortable.

Dozsar (2009-2014)

My last night with Dozsar.  Saying goodbye was hard...

I haven't posted in a while.  It is sad that I have to post that Dozsar died on Tuesday, October 28, 2014.  He was 5 years old.

Dozsar was my second vizsla.  We were blessed to get him not long after Rozsda died.  He became my best friend and loved to be with me.  Actually, he liked to be on me.  It is no wonder this breed is called the "Velcro" dog.  He certainly lived up to that!  He would nibble my nose and ears and was as lovable as any dog I have known.

We discovered a few months ago that Dozsar had hip dysplasia.  While a common disorder found in vizslas, I did not believe it would take his life so quickly.  We had him on some medications and supplements to try to help.  But, in recent days, Dozsar was dragging his hind legs when he tried to walk or run.  His back left paw was knuckling under.  He did not seem to be in pain; however, the spark that once existed brightly grew dim.  It would surface occasionally; however, he no longer seemed to be the happy, carefree puppy we knew so well.

His mind was sharp.  He wanted to go.  He wanted to run.  His body just wouldn't respond.  He experienced bowel incontinence and just couldn't support himself with his hind legs.  It broke my heart to see this happen to him.  I helped him up the deck stairs.  I helped him when his legs gave out and would slide up underneath him.  I tried to help him maintain his dignity.  Nothing worked.  He seemed so helpless and sad.

So, we made the decision to help him cross over peacefully and with dignity.  Up until the last minute, I still had doubts.  I still wanted to see him get better.  I even asked God to help him.  But, in the end, we knew this to be the right decision.  That, however, is no consolation to the gaping hole he left behind.

Guilt.  Sadness.  Grief.  These are the words that haunt me today.  I know these are not "pawsitive" words.   But, the grieving process, while hard, is necessary in the long run.  So, I will work through the sadness and look forward to the "pawsitive" inspiration that will come from looking back over Dozsar's short life and his brief time with us.

It doesn't feel like it right now, but I know I am better for having him in my life.

Perhaps there will be more "Pawsitive Words" to come.  But for today...I mourn.

I love you, Dozsar.  I miss you already...

Longing

There are times when Dozsar longingly looks outside.  Sometimes, he can't go outside and chase after whatever has captured his attention.  I love this picture of him looking out at something.  I don't remember what had his attention, but he was sure interested in something.  These days, he longs to come inside.  In fact, he has destroyed our siding on the house trying to get in.  That, unfortunately, is another story.

Paul had a longing to go to a certain place.  God, on the other hand, had other plans.  We really don't know why, but the Holy Spirit blocked the route when Paul's plan was to go to Asia.  Now, we can be like Paul and obey and go on our way.  Or, we can be like Dozsar and just longingly gaze at what might have been (but can't be).

Or, maybe the answer is "No...for now."  Perhaps a time will come later.  Regardless, we need to be obedient today - right now.

Acts 16:6-7King James Version (KJV)

6 Now when they had gone throughout Phrygia and the region of Galatia, and were forbidden of the Holy Ghost to preach the word in Asia,

7 After they were come to Mysia, they assayed to go into Bithynia: but the Spirit suffered them not.

Shame

Dozsar had a growth removed from his back paw several years ago.  He recently began licking the same spot and it developed into a sore that wouldn't heal.  He started limping and not walking correctly so I took him to the vet.  As it turns out, he has hip dysplasia.  That caused the limp.  However, we also needed to get the wound healed, too.  For that to happen meant that he needed to stop licking it.  To stop licking it required...the cone of shame.  Otherwise, he risks an infection, the loss of his leg, and potentially even his life.

I then thought about my own life.  I sometimes pick at old wounds - wounds that should have healed by now and would have if I would just leave it alone.  But, I can't.  Subsequently, the constant re-living of past wrongs and hurts keeps the wound open and raw.  It won't heal until I leave it alone.    There may be a scar that remains, but at least it will heal if I will leave it alone.  Why don't I?

I know that Jesus takes our hurts and shame.  Yet, I wonder if a little shame, remorse, and/or regret would do us some good.  I mean, come on.  This thing would have been healed and done and over if we would just leave it alone.  But, we don't. We re-live it over and over and over again.  We ought to be ashamed - ashamed that we don't leave it alone, that is!  The past happened.  Deal with it.  Move on and let it remain in the past.  To do otherwise is crippling.

Dozsar hated the cone.  It was awkward for him.  It was awkward for us.  Yet, it was necessary for him to heal.  Maybe we could use a good dose of healthy shame in order to heal.  Look to Jesus for help.

Looking to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.  ~Hebrews 12:2

A World of Fun

A little fun with Dozsar's pictures.

Happy New Year!