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| My last night with Dozsar. Saying goodbye was hard... |
I haven't posted in a while. It is sad that I have to post that Dozsar died on Tuesday, October 28, 2014. He was 5 years old.
Dozsar was my second vizsla. We were blessed to get him not long after Rozsda died. He became my best friend and loved to be with me. Actually, he liked to be on me. It is no wonder this breed is called the "Velcro" dog. He certainly lived up to that! He would nibble my nose and ears and was as lovable as any dog I have known.
We discovered a few months ago that Dozsar had hip dysplasia. While a common disorder found in vizslas, I did not believe it would take his life so quickly. We had him on some medications and supplements to try to help. But, in recent days, Dozsar was dragging his hind legs when he tried to walk or run. His back left paw was knuckling under. He did not seem to be in pain; however, the spark that once existed brightly grew dim. It would surface occasionally; however, he no longer seemed to be the happy, carefree puppy we knew so well.
His mind was sharp. He wanted to go. He wanted to run. His body just wouldn't respond. He experienced bowel incontinence and just couldn't support himself with his hind legs. It broke my heart to see this happen to him. I helped him up the deck stairs. I helped him when his legs gave out and would slide up underneath him. I tried to help him maintain his dignity. Nothing worked. He seemed so helpless and sad.
So, we made the decision to help him cross over peacefully and with dignity. Up until the last minute, I still had doubts. I still wanted to see him get better. I even asked God to help him. But, in the end, we knew this to be the right decision. That, however, is no consolation to the gaping hole he left behind.
Guilt. Sadness. Grief. These are the words that haunt me today. I know these are not "pawsitive" words. But, the grieving process, while hard, is necessary in the long run. So, I will work through the sadness and look forward to the "pawsitive" inspiration that will come from looking back over Dozsar's short life and his brief time with us.
It doesn't feel like it right now, but I know I am better for having him in my life.
Perhaps there will be more "Pawsitive Words" to come. But for today...I mourn.
I love you, Dozsar. I miss you already...
